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| well as usual i havent been keeping up with this xanga stuff. Ive had alot going on with colleges and with work and just life in general I guess. I really feel like Ive changed into someone else, which Im quite content with its just that- i dunno I feel like I have to rediscover what im confortable with. Grandma fell and hurt herself and Im worried that she wont heal right because when your old nothing seems to heal "right". I guess Im just tired. People wear me out, day after day theres a person in my life that steals the spotlight and basks in its warmth so to speak. If its not one thing its the other. Sigh, sometimes I dont wanna fight, I dont wanna argue anymore I just wanna be closer to my goals or closer to getting where I want to be. People keep telling me that I should just look after myself but how can I train myself to be that type of person when I want to become a nurse?? I just dont understand how that works out. I guess I should just stop complaining. I mean isnt that what a xanga is for? for people to complain day in and day out about the wrong things in their life? This xanga is probably going to make me a bitcher and I dont want that to happen. i dunno maybe ill drop it. | | |
|  I just want to say that Im sorry Because I got sick and Im sorry Melissa for virtually forgetting about the wedding bc I dont want to leave u by yourself! AND im sorry Denace was being a jerk and laughing at you/my sickness. This was a series of Unfortunate Events. And im really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really truly and amazingly sorry . | | |
| Okay so...School is officially the best when your a senior. I mean yes its a pain because you get more work...but in essence I like it alot more because I get treated as an adult not as a stupid child (not saying all children are stupid). I think im finally getting the hang of my xanga, its just weird writing a journal entry...online!..  And im finally starting to feel like im living MY OWN life instead of someone elses. Geez this year is going to get better and better! Im going to finally finish this school year off go to undergrad school and then go to MEDICAL SCHOOL!.. Cant say Im a little nervous about everything. I mean its weird how God...or Whomever..or what ever...anyways..its funny how things work out the way they do. I mean after my mom passed away in July its like..I didnt even know where to begin..I kinda got forced back into reality, never really giving it a chance to set in. And yeah, I still cry once and a while like a baby..But if she didnt pass away,I would have never gotten the scholarship or even gotten to half of where I am now (school wise). People ask me.. If I had to choose between my mother coming back or the scholarship and the opportunity to go to Med School....What would I choose?? I still dont know But I have to live in the "now"...and its like now im in head first, hittin the books, thinkin it out, planning,organizing....I have a different mind set than I did when I went to art school...and yeah I miss my teachers (not all) and yeah I miss my friends....but i can do art at home (which I do)...and Mrs. G wants me to paint on her wall in the classroom....So I can do that. OH and now I have a wonderful lovely boy in NJ that I am going to marry....(shut up Denace) and have kids with. And Im WAY serious about that...which those of you who know me KNOW I dont settle with anyone guy in particular.And its not even a relationship thats hindering at all. Actually its made me alot happier. I dunno why i went on that little rampage about all thisi felt the need to OH p.s this is my mother R.I.P. Caroline S.Abrams(6/3/61)-(7/7/06)"...Forever and ever.." | | |
| hell yeah melissa rocks the shit cuz she made ma xanga site :D | | |
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